Blogmolia

2002-12-05T12:20:00.000-05:00

Wow.

I wonder why I bother to keep a blog if I don't post to it?

thankfully I feel much better than I did last time I posted. Meds are stable. Meanwhile things are going well on the worship team. That's good cuz we are in the final week or so of preparing for the annual ordeal that is known as the Christmas Cantata. And as soon as we are done with that we have been told we will start preparing for Easter. But the good thing is that the new worship leader does know how to lead a choir and to teach us this stuff with a minimum of pain and annoyance. I'm not bored as heck like I normally would be.

Other than that simply adjusting to the idea that I am 44. Also wondering how it will feel when Christmas comes. Will I be okay or will there just be too many reminders of a lost friend? Actually I am thinking I will be fine. The grieving process is a strange and convoluted one but I know I am thru the worst of it. At least I can remember stuff now and not bawl my eyes out.

2002-10-23T07:22:00.000-04:00

Still getting used to the new worship leader. Totally different from my friend (you know, the one that died)...it's hard to get used to working with him. Only because it's different, I guess.

meanwhile it's that time of year. When a lot of us bipolars start sinking into pits again. The pdoc thinks it is because of the shorter days -evidently there is a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder in all this-or maybe simply more darkness is just depressing period.
I am experimenting with my meds a bit, hoping to make an adjustment that will help. Funny-the same med that leaves me bouncing off walls one time of year barely gets a rise out of me other times. No wonder we are so stinking hard to treat.

meanwhile I learn to cope again with random crying spells at the most inopportune times, along with the inability to be in Walmart more than five or ten minutes at a stretch (I say the latter as if it were a bad thing)...heh.

I need to update this thing more but sometimes it just feels like climbing Mount Everest sans sherpa.

2002-10-08T12:00:00.000-04:00

well, for a live blog I haven't been writing much. Been busy. Had a cold (or was it the flu?) I need to clean the house and I am putting it off (well, I am washing the dishes and on the computer at the same time. Alternating, that is.

It is so hard to know what to post and what not to. I have a few skeletons rattling around (and yes I consider the bipolar part of that). I was way too open about it on the "net and now I am having to cover my tracks. One reason I started this weblog. More anonymous. Different email. That sort of thing. It also keeps the obsessive-compulsives on Mefi from tracking me down and lambasting my every comment regarding Metafilter. Of course it wouldn't take that much effort to find me if they wanted to...I stink at being covert I guess.

As for said bipolar, I was broke and couldn't afford my meds for a week. That week was enough to send my hubby to my doc to pick up a boatload of samples. I had no idea just how incapable and immobile I could be without them...one reason this blog saw no action.

I'm on this computer too darn much as it is.

2002-09-21T12:12:00.000-04:00

No, this isn't a dead blog, just a slow one.

You would think that without a job I wouldn't be as busy. Wrong! I am sitting here thinking about all the things that MUST be done today and even tho they are nice things, I don't want to do any of them.

Unfortunately sitting at this computer is not one of the things I need to be doing right at the moment. Ugh.

2002-09-17T07:55:00.000-04:00

As I was typing the previous I happened to look at my computer speakers to see Roachzilla crawling up on one of them. (they come in from outside occasionally).
ick.

There were tons of these things down in Florida where I used to live. They were euphemistically called 'palmetto bugs'. EVERYBODY (and I do mean everybody) down there either has them or is on a first-name basis with the Orkin man. One of the nice surprises of Florida living. They actually try to run up your pants' leg when you try to spray them.

They pop when you step on 'em.

2002-09-17T07:47:00.000-04:00

I really need to update this thing more often.

Now that I am not working for pay I have been indulging in more than a bit of daytime tv. I notice there are a lot of court shows.
Also I have noticed that a LOT of talkshows have all these women (and girls-some as young as fourteen) trying to prove some pimply-faced guy is the father of their child. It blows my mind...yesterday this girl of sixteen was crying and saying she got pregnant the first time she was intimate with this fellow-who was ungallantly proclaiming that on the contrary she was more experienced than she was admitting to...the test came back-saying the guy was NOT the father...I mean, come on, her parents were sitting there and everything....the only good thing about this whole sordid mess was that the parents did stick by her...

Say I'm a prude. OH STINKING WELL. LOOK at the pain confusion and heartbreak all this indiscriminate activity has led to. And don't give me the birth control spiel. Condoms break, people.

2002-09-13T02:31:00.000-04:00

Here he is.(If the link works right).

Here is a photo of the "gentleman" who emailed the Miss North Carolina organisation about the revealing snapshots he had of Rebecca Revels, his former girlfriend.

Just thought you's want to take a good look.

2002-09-11T09:26:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here with a lukewarm cup of tea. Peter Jennings in the background.

They are reading the names of the Trade Tower victims....they are only up to the "c"s....

It is taking a heartbreakingly long time...

It's a beautiful day here...if I remember correctly it was a bit overcast here a year ago. All we had at work was my radio and someone else's miniature black-and-white tv with lousy reception.

We couldn't grasp what we were seeing and hearing, not really.

We have had a year now to let it sink in. That and watching friends and neighbors get deployed to Afghanistan and other places with funny names...

We have our ceremonies marking this day....all over the nation, even the world. I suppose they fill a need. A need to do something. To underline and set apart what has happened. An attempt to grasp, to fit it in to our grasp of what reality is supposed to be.

I wonder if it is working.

2002-09-09T09:01:00.000-04:00

On a more cheerful note, my son had his first interview with his Air Force liason officer yesterday. This is the guy that is supposed to walk us through the processes as my son seeks to get into the Academy. From what the officer said, my kid is "Very Competitive". Meaning he has a good shot of actually making it.

Also meaning that I will be an old woman before I see my son with more than half an inch of hair on his head. if then.

2002-09-09T08:59:00.000-04:00

Well....it was last Saturday that I came within about 4 inches of losing my daughter.

She and her sister (16 and 15 respectively) thought it would be a grand idea to try to cross a five lane highway two blocks from our home (their goal being a park on the other side). Instead of crossing with the light they elected to try to cross about 50 feet further down., reason being that the road curves up a hill to the light and it is difficult to see oncoming traffic until it is right up on you. (yes, their logic was faulty but like I said they are teenagers. Duh.)

Well, to make an agonizing story short, the 16 year old gets hit by a car. Or more precisely, the side rear view mirror of said car. If she hadn't stopped when her sister yelled at her to stop...I still can't think about it.

Miraculously, she didn't even get bruised, even tho the side mirror on the car was torn up. Ironically, it was my kid that got the ticket, for jaywalking.

Why is it that when my kids get to learn a Life Lesson, I have to sprout yet another gray hair?

2002-09-06T10:06:00.000-04:00

Here She Is... -or isn't.

Anybody out there as bemused as I am over the Miss North Carolina catfight?
In the interest of full disclosure, Contestant #1 (the original winner with the, ahem, photos) represents my city. (The fact that she actually lives one county over notwithstanding.) As it stands now, Contestant #2 (the original first runner up) is considered by the Miss America organization to be the true contestant. The pageant festivities begin tonight.

At this rate I can almost guarantee that Miss America AIN"T gonna be from N.C.

By the way, Candidate number 1 supposedly would be the first Native American winner if she did get the crown...but what the rest of you in tv land may not know is that she is Lumbee. Which is not a recognised tribe by the U.S.government. Altho it is more than obvious that the Lumbee are a distinct people group, many around here simply consider them as Heinz 57- mixed black and white with some Indian blood in there somewhere. Others see them as descendents of the original Lost Colony intermarried with the native Americans in the area. (seriously!)
I could go on and on but I won't-unless she actually is allowed to compete and wins. In that case I assure you all I will have to do is provide you with linkage.
One more thing-both young ladies are gorgeous and would do a good job. But there be lawyers afoot...

2002-09-04T07:39:00.000-04:00

Tremble, ye sinners....I'm back in the blogging business.
*waves at friends"

2002-09-04T07:37:00.000-04:00

one more test...is this mike working? *tap tap*

2002-09-04T07:32:00.000-04:00

test

2002-09-04T07:25:00.000-04:00

testing....one, two, three...